


I'm Hoping You Can Feel Me in Your Chest

by drosophilase



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drosophilase/pseuds/drosophilase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second part of a collaboration fic.  Kurt calls Blaine after a not-so-great first date with Adam. 4x11 reaction fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Hoping You Can Feel Me in Your Chest

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Who Would Tear it All Down, and Pull You Through](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/22196) by peatock. 



> read that first ^^

Blaine’s face is on the screen, smiling all crinkled cheeks and almost-disappeared eyes and a warm knife right to Kurt’s chest.  He hesitates, but it’s not even a question.  He couldn’t decline it if he wanted to.

“Hey,” Kurt breathes, pressing the phone to his ear.  ”Wait just a second, okay?”

He darts through the apartment, giving Rachel’s bed a wary look.  The fire escape is pretty much out of the question in 20 degree weather, so the hallway will have to do.

The door’s loud, but Kurt squeezes through the smallest crack he can manage.  It’s quiet out here, not too chilly, the window at the end of the hall all bright lights and purplish sky.

“Okay,” Kurt says softly, settling down on the window seat.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” and  _god_  it’s so good to hear that voice.  Instantly he feels a thousand times better, more settled into his skin, less frayed at the edges.

 

“Not really,” Kurt replies truthfully, biting his lip to keep his voice from wobbling.  ”I’m so— everything’s just— you haven’t texted me in three days.”

Just Blaine’s breath in his ear, slow and steady and so familiar.  The longing aches deep in his bones.

“And god, I haven’t texted you either.  I’m sorry for that, I—”

“I miss you,” Blaine says, low and secret like he’s not allowed to say it.

Kurt doesn’t feel like he’s allowed, either, to be so happy over those words, but he is.  So very happy.

“I  _miss_  you,” Kurt agrees, resting his chin on his knees.  ”I feel so disconnected.  NYADA feels just a little too much like McKinley in all the wrong ways, Rachel keeps  _saying_  things and I’m just so unsure about… a lot of things.  About everything.”

“I went to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”

Kurt straightens up in shock, putting both feet on the floor.  ”But… you did?”

“Tina convinced me to go,” Blaine says darkly, laughing a little.  Kurt’s arms ache to reach out and hold him.

“Were you—?”

Kurt doesn’t even have to finish the sentence.

“No, no I was fine.  I thought about it, more than once, but I think having two wonderful high school dance experiences may have almost canceled out one horrible one.”

He’s deep-flushed with pride.  ”Oh.  Good. I’m so glad.”

“But this one wasn’t really in either category.  It was… weird? Weird.”

Kurt hums to show he’s listening, trying to pretend like there aren’t a thousand scenarios running through his head at rapid speed.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Blaine laughs again, that hollow laugh that turns Kurt’s stomach, and Kurt can picture him running a hand over his hair, crossing his arm over his stomach protectively.  ”I guess it’s only fair to tell you.  I kind of had a crush on Sam.”

Kurt stifles a smile, remembering the day in glee club when Mr. Schue was unsuccessfully trying to teach a lesson on love and acceptance, so they sat in the back and compared notes on every guy in the New Directions.  Well, except Finn.

“The abs?” Kurt asks, trying and failing to keep the amusement out of his voice.

And  _there’s_  a real laugh.  It’s like sipping hot tea under his softest blanket, warm toes wedged under his thigh.  No— Blaine’s toes, always Blaine’s.  Kurt smiles, settling with his back to the window.

“The abs,” Blaine concedes quietly, voice overflowing with happiness.  ”It went on for like two weeks—” Kurt thinks back frantically, has it really been that long? Have they really not sat down to talk in over a week?  He counts back. _Shit._  ”—and I guess Tina finally took pity on me and told him.  He was really nice about it, just reminded me that he’s with Britt.  He told me I’m his best friend, but that’s all it’ll ever be.”

Kurt’s heart stings a little at  _best friend,_  but he’ll let it slide.  At least Blaine doesn’t sound like he’s taking the rejection too hard.  ”And that’s okay?” he prompts gently.

“It is,” Blaine confirms, and Kurt can hear sheets rustling in the background.  He checks the time— it’s nearly midnight.  ”But mostly because of what he said to me after that.”

Immediately Kurt’s heart is hammering in his chest cause he knows that tone.  ”Oh?”

“Tina kind of said the same thing, and I think it’s true.  I, um, I guess I’m not good with unrequited love.  I’m not sure how you did it back at Dalton.”

The attempted joke falls totally flat, but Kurt’s barely listening with all the hope clogging up his heart.  He wonders briefly if this is how Blaine felt, after being with someone else—  so sure of his place in the world, of what he wants most of all.  It doesn’t even hurt as much to think about now, not with Blaine’s voice in his ear and a blanket of all the memories of his touch wrapped close.  The firm sweet weight of certainty keeping him grounded.

“It’s after midnight, and this is the first time I’ve heard your voice in weeks, and I’m just going to be honest, okay? I can’t tiptoe around it any longer, Kurt, and I understand if you want to hang up now because I know you’re still working on forgiving me, and—”

“I forgive you,” Kurt says immediately, wonders why he hasn’t said it yet.  Of all the things to be unsure of, that one’s not even on the list.

“I’m sorry, what?” Blaine sounds completely taken aback.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry.  I should have told you as soon as I knew it, as soon as my dad called and told me how you volunteered to help him reorganize the files at the tire shop and clean out the gutters.”

“But that’s…  _Kurt_.”

“As soon as I was the first one you called at 12:01 on New Year’s and I spent that whole night wondering and hoping you would.  No, as soon as you showed up in New York on ice skates and told me you would always be there for me.  Blaine, I forgive you.”

Blaine whispers his name again and sniffs wetly.  Kurt pulls his sleeve over his hand to wipe at his cheek.

“I see you everywhere,” Blaine clears his throat against the thick choke of tears, “and I’ve been missing you  _so much_  I guess I just latched onto the first person that wasn’t treating me like I was crazy for it.”

“Been there, done that,” Kurt says lightly, smiling in spite of himself.  ”Let’s just hope Sam doesn’t turn into your step-brother.”

This laugh is even  _better,_  all warm honey and jubilation that makes Kurt squeeze his knees harder, wishing wishing wishing he could hug Blaine.

“So I guess that’s it,” Blaine says finally, “you’re it, for me.  Always have been.”

Kurt braces himself, refusing to get excited over his words yet.  Blaine deserves to know.

“I went on a date tonight.”

He can  _feel_  Blaine deflate.  His “oh” is so tiny it’s barely a sound.

“Well, I don’t know if it can be called a date, seeing as we barely made it inside the bar before I freaked a little.”

Blaine sucks in a sharp breath.

“Not because of him!” Kurt amends hurriedly before Blaine buys a plane ticket.  ”No, he was perfectly lovely in his own way, very gentlemanly, even when I rejected him.”

“You…?” god Blaine’s voice is so hopeful Kurt’s heart is  _throbbing_  with the need to be close to him.

“I kissed him,” Kurt adds, “and it was kind of awful.  Not awful like, slobbery or bad, but just… not right.  Not even a little.  I told him I was sorry and I left.”

He knows Blaine’s holding his breath like he feels the cold outside seeping through glass to his skin.  He knows.

“Because as soon as I felt his lips on mine, I thought of you.  Your lips, your hands, your…  _you._   And then I knew.  And I couldn’t sit through a date with you in my head, with knowing that it’s always you.”

Blaine sniffles again, the sheets rustle.  It’s strangled and full of emotion:  _“Kurt.”_

Kurt laughs a little, trying not to sound too snotty.  ”And, god, what do we do now, Blaine?  600 miles away and all I want to do is hold you.”

“In two weeks it’s Will and Emma’s wedding,” Blaine says immediately, and it’s the most beautiful phrase Kurt has ever heard.  Well, it’s in the top fifteen.  ”They’ll want you back for it, and I definitely want you back, and we can—”

“Yes,” Kurt says, remembering the invitation stuck in his dresser drawer.  ”Blaine,  _yes._ ”

“Okay,” Blaine says almost reverently.  Kurt cradles the phone closer like maybe Blaine can feel his touch through the rebounding waves.  ”Yes, okay.”

Kurt breathes, closing his eyes and pretending Blaine’s even breaths are closer, just across a pillow instead of across two states.  His phone vibrates and he looks down to a frantic text from Rachel about their door being open.  And he sees it’s almost 1 am.

“Honey, you have school tomorrow,” Kurt chides gently.  ”I’m going to let you sleep, okay?”

“Alright,” Blaine agrees, and his half-slurred voice betrays that he was almost there already.  Kurt smiles.

“I love you, B.”

He hasn’t said, not since Thanksgiving, but then again he hasn’t really felt it since then either.  Not with Burt and NYADA and Adam and— but now he does, even more than he did during that phone call on the fire escape that pushed them to here.

“I love you, Kurt.  So much.”

Kurt buries his smile in his knees because he  _knew_  Blaine would add those two words at the end.  He’s still his Blaine.  Always will be.

“Goodnight,” Kurt says softly, but Blaine’s breaths are deep and slow and he doesn’t reply.

He ends the call and straightens up, stretching his back and looking out over his city where the lights never really go out.   _Their_  city, soon.

_“Kurt?”_   The hissed word echoes down the hall and he rolls his eyes.  Rachel.

“Yes Rachel, it’s me.”  He walks back to their sliding door and slips in after her, pulling it shut.

“Are you just getting back?  Why were you at the window?  Did he walk you back, did you watch him leave, oh Kurt that’s so  _romantic,_  I—”

“Rachel,” Kurt cuts her off, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.  ”I’m very tired and we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

“No we can’t!” she shrieks, breaking her own rule about being quiet with Brody asleep.  ”At least tell me if you kissed him?”

“I did.”  She shrieks again, batting at his arm.  Kurt smiles.  ”And now I know exactly who I want to be kissing for the rest of my life.”

She’s utterly shocked, mouth hanging open.  ”Oh my god,  _Kurt,_  did the date really go that well?”

Now he does roll his eyes.  ”Rachel, please pretend like you know me.  No, I called Blaine.”

“Oh,” she says, and the disappointment is clear on her face.

“Come this summer, I’ll be finding out  _exactly_  what being in love in New York is like,” Kurt says easily, tapping her nose affectionately and side-stepping her disgruntlement on his way to bed.

He wakes up to two text messages:

_Good morning, Kurt._

_:) xo_


End file.
